Hold Your Own Paintbrush

December 15 2021

We all get hung up from time to time on being ‘socially appropriate’. There are ‘boxes’ that life creates and we all feel compelled to fit in them. The clothes we chose to wear, the cars we drive, the homes we live in, even the places we chose to eat. Social stigmas have us believing that the choices we make….define us.

And when we buy into that mindset, we automatically put boundaries on ourselves. A box has 4 sides, a top and a bottom. That’s it. In the earlier stages of life there seems to be a need to fit into the boxes so we have approval, acceptance and validation from our peers.

The beauty of life is, as we move through its different phases, the boxes become less important and we realize there is so much more freedom when we step outside them. Peoples opinions become less important and our inner peace becomes more important. We spend more time chasing dreams and less time chasing approval. We set the rule book aside and chart our own course. And sometimes we find ourselves in the most unpredictable places.

How did a little girl born in Oak Park Illinois end up in Northern Idaho playing with moose? Well, there were a lot of ‘pit stops’ along the way that I later realized were pivotal moments that proved to be instrumental in my redirection. Every success, validated a gift I’d been given, and every loss pushed me to become more resilient.

The key to mastering the ‘pit stops’ is to figure out what they push you to do. Maybe you lost your job and it feels like you have lost everything. But if you focus on what new possibilities are now available to you…..you will soon realize it happened for a reason. A divorce can be devastating, but it can also be an awakening. The death of a spouse can be gut wrenching, but on the other side of that pain can be a realization of untapped inner strength.

You get to chose whether an event in your life destroys you or emboldens you.

I have pushed through so many losses in my life, and I can say from personal experience…..nothing was gained when I let the loss destroy me. However, as I learned to redirect the pain to propel me forward, there has been significant growth and renewed purpose in my life.

There is a wonderful saying…..”It's not who you are that holds you back…..it’s who you think you’re not.” If you surround yourself with people who put you down and don't believe in you…how on earth are you supposed to believe in yourself?

When you remove the negative, toxic opinions of others….you will see the greatness of who you really are.

You are gifted, you are talented, you are kind, you are capable and you are worthy of love and respect. The people that treat you otherwise….don't deserve you.

And just like all the other losses you have pushed through…..when you delete the negative, toxic situations from your life…..you are gifted with better.

As I sit on top of the hill at my new property location, and as I get ready to begin the build of my new home, I realize how blessed I am to have pushed through the pain of all the losses in my life and come out the other side…on top of the hill.

I have never felt so free, and so unencumbered from the weight of my dysfunctional past as I do now. It’s exhausting to carry around everyone’s opinions, and to spend your days trying to meet their expectations.

This next chapter is mine. This new home will be designed for me, by me, and will even have a few fairytale touches that the little girl inside my heart wants so badly. Yes….I will have a glass bridge that extends from the main house, passing through the trees and leading to my bedroom with a cozy fireplace and a wrap around deck. And, yes, I am building a slide in my 10 acre forest…simply because I can. I want to jump into that slide, throw my arms up in the air and giggle all the way to the bottom.

There are great things waiting for you when you step outside the box. You will feel your heart resonate with your surroundings, and you will catch yourself smiling…just because. You sleep better, you take better care of yourself, and your only regret is not having more time in front of you to enjoy the gifts you have so tirelessly earned.

We go through so many challenges in our lives. They have a purpose. They are opportunities to pivot. When you embrace the new directions life presents you along the way... amazing things happen. So I'm going to build my glass bridges, and I'm going to build a slide in my forest. Rather than waste thought on what 'isn't' in my life.....I'm celebrating the pivot. And I catch myself smiling at the thought of going down that slide.:)

You are the artist of your own life. Dont let someone else hold the paintbrush.

But thats just my opinion. :)