The Other Side Of 'Not Yet'

October 13 2021

I’ve noticed when going through difficult transitions in our lives, there’s an uncomfortable space between something that ‘no longer is’ and something that is ‘not yet’. It's the suspended period of time between a chapter coming to a close and a new one on the horizon.

This transitory period can leave us feeling anxious, angry, sad, helpless, powerless, shut down, and lost.

It’s when moods are more unstable and inconsistent, and when we feel the most vulnerable to the behavior of others.

The most challenging part is……it has its own timeline. We cant push it along or sidestep the process to get to the other side more quickly.

I have learned the importance of honoring the space between ‘no longer’ and ‘not yet’. It requires letting go of everything. No more trying to fix things….no more looking at all the other options not chosen. Instead of trying to sidestep it or fix it…this time I dove head first into it and allowed myself to fall. Hard. I cried buckets of tears, I stared at the wall for hours as if the answers were going to come for the stucco……they didn't. I wandered through the house trying to find something that needed to be done, but there wasn't anything. I opened the refrigerator a dozen times hoping to find something that appealed to me….nothing did.

After 8 days of that…..I ran out of the energy I was giving the situation and I simply quit. I accepted the fact that I cant change it, I don't understand it, and I accepted the fact that the memory of this time in my life will always bring a degree of sadness to my heart. But thats only because it mattered so much. And that’s ok. Remember that no one really knows what you have been through. They may have heard the stories…..but they didn't feel what you felt in your heart. And your feelings always matter.

It was then that I emerged from the other side of ‘not yet’.

I realized that although I have zero control over what is ‘no longer’…I DO have control over what lies ahead.

The days filled with endless possibilities returned, and the smile reemerged from my heart.

I’m grateful, and I’m humbled that life gave me the days I needed to get to this place. A place of renewed promise and hope. A place to begin again, a place to build another dream.

I think the build of a new house is a great place to start!

The new home I’m designing will have everything I have ever dreamed of, and it will be filled with love. A glass house surrounded by trees, wildlife, and waterfalls. High beam ceilings and warm wood floors. A see-through fireplace and a never ending view of the lake. And finally…what I’ve always wanted…a dreamy glass bridge that reaches across from the main house to the master bedroom which will stand alone and have a wrap around deck that lends itself to the most incredible sunsets.

This dream home has been waiting for me on the other side of ‘not yet’. Waiting to be taken from my rough sketches on paper, and realized as the next chapter. And now I know it's time.

Don't ever give up. Don't ever feel your dreams are out of reach. And don't let anyone steal your smile. Surround yourself with love and laughter.

And of course …….moose.

Because everything is better with moose.

But that’s just my opinion. :)